CHINESE BRIDAL REQUEST
“Marriage is for continuing the ancestral line & creating alliances between families –; too important a duty to be left in the rash hands of the young.”
The Proposal
The process began with an elaborate marriage proposal and acceptance. This process was placed in the hands of a go-between, who acted as a buffer between the two parties – a role similar to that of a real estate agent today. The important parties in proposal and betrothal negotiations were the parents of the prospective bride and groom, rather than the bride and groom themselves.
The Betrothal
First both sets of parents exchanged family credentials as tokens of intention. Then, after extensive bargaining, the two families would arrive at the amount of money and goods that would make up the gift to the girl’s family. After presenting engagement tokens, the go-between would ask the bride’s family to chose among several auspicious wedding dates suggested by the boy’s family and also set a date for presenting betrothal gifts.
The boy’s family presented betrothal gifts of money and significant items such as tea, bridal cakes, pairs of male and female poultry, sweetmeats and sugar, wine and tobacco, accompanied by an itemized statement of these gifts. Tea was such a primary part of these gifts in some areas that they were known collectively as cha-li, that is, “tea presents.” The girl’s family reciprocated with gifts of food and clothing.
The boy’s family’s gifts acknowledged the parents’ efforts in raising the girl, and by accepting the gifts, the girl’s family pledged her to the boy’s. It is interesting to note that the bride was given to the family rather than the groom alone. Although the bride and groom probably had not met yet, betrothal was considered binding unless both families agreed to annul the contract.
Several days after the presentation of the betrothal gifts, the girl’s family sent porters with an inventoried dowry to the boy’s house. The dowry consisted of practical items, including a chamber pot, filled for the occasion with fruit and strings of coins. This procession gave the girl’s family the opportunity to display both their social status and their love for their daughter, and wealthy parents often included serving girls to attend their daughter in her new home.
Credits: Ko Mya Sein & Ma Saw Thuza for letting me use photos from their bridal request.
The gifts from bridegroom’s family carefully assorted before the bridal request…
Sometimes gifts from the parents of bridegroom include expensive jewelry which acknowledged their wealth…
Tea is such a primary part of these gifts in some areas…
Every gift is to be in even number. This is THA-NUT-KHAR, a traditional make-up of Burmese woman, prepared as an item of gift for bridal request…
On the wedding day, the couple needs to hold tea offering ceremony at home and these slippers will be presented to the parents of both sides…
The couple’s residence being beautified with these Chinese words signifying the AUSPICIOSNESS…
On the top of everything, the couple’s bed need to be prepared by a kid who was born in Chinese lunar year of Dragon believing that dragon born brings great prosperity and make everything safe and sound… It is not easy to find a dragon born. Why? To be able to prepare the wedding bed, this particular dragon born MUST be a guy who parents are still alive, staying together and whose financial status need to be strong.
bro, ur photos effects are nice and ur explanations are very good.. i’ve been never heard of the last one..